Saturday, July 3, 2021

June 2021 Entry

June 2021 Entry

June has come and gone. Can't believe we are halfway through the year. 

MISC=========================

- Had an ENT appointment (06.03). It's the one of two I've been going to every year since going to this facility. I tried to sleep early the night before and wasn't able to sleep that well. Lost lots of sleep. Still went to the appointment. Everything was okay although I did lose a little bit of the recovered hearing. Talks about getting surgery came up again, but we are going to get a CT scan to see if there are any major changes and go from there. 

On the way back home, I sang. I sang a lot. It was one of the first times I could sing like I normally could. Hitting high notes and holding notes as long as I was able to before. It felt great belting out familiar tunes that I've only been able to mouth or speak the lyrics. 

And I took a nap. Tried to go the rest of the day without it hoping to get a deep sleep that night. But I was too tired. Couldn't fight it and got a 2-3 hour nap. 

- My dad surprised me with a new phone (06.04). I had spoken to him a few months ago (during the winter storm) about how I was going to buy a new one soon since my phone wasn't holding a charge for a long time anymore. He said he signed up for one to get at a large discount and it finally went through. Got an iPhone 11 and I think he said he only paid a little over $100 for it. Yay, new phone. 

- After Cinnabon followed me on Twitter last month, I felt it proper to get something from them (06.08). Even though there is a Cinnabon minutes away from the house, I ordered a product from Amazon. It was a good snack to eat during stream breaks. Each pack had about 14-15 pieces so I ate half each break. 


- On June 10th, I had no energy (06.10). Can't really put my finger on it, but it was then that I felt I had no energy for the rest of the month. I still did normal things like stream and exercise. During times of non-activity, I'd feel it. At first I thought it was due to lack of sleep because I did start waking up 30-60 minutes earlier for no reason, but I did balance that out and the energy is still not there. I'm also the healthiest I've felt in months so I don't know what's going on. Hopefully this will pass. 

- Drove my dad to get his second eye surgery (06.15). Same thing as last month, but for his other eye. While he was getting that done, I finally got my first dose of the vaccine, moderna. 

- Chun-Li shirt (06.16)

- Finally watched Kwang Soo's final episode on Running Man (06.16). It was a great episode. Felt emotional throughout and couldn't help but cry during the final portions of it. He's been there from the beginning so it will be different not seeing him there after 11 years. I am looking forward to him showing up as a surprise in a future episode though. 

- Nintendo shirts (06.19)

- Batman: The Long Halloween Part One (06.23)

- Kit-Kat Thins are great (06.26). Kit-Kats are possibly my favorite candy and every type of thin version of snacks I've tried have been awesome so it was no surprise that I'd enjoy these. 


- Round 15 of free movies is in the books. While I went for all of them being in the comedy category, some were definitely not funny at all. My favorites included Playing With Fire, Sunkist Family, and Hot Rod. One interesting note was that one of the biggest fans of Kimagure Orange Road found my tweet and responded to it. She mistakenly thought I saw the whole series, but I only watched the movie. Still, it was an interesting interaction as other people chimed in as well. Round 16 will be a random-ish assortment. 



- I may get rid of the wrestling section soon. I feel like I say similar stuff all the time and not even attempt to say anything about the things that happened this month. Maybe after next month depending on how the return to live crowds goes for WWE. It's been good for AEW so far. 

H.E.R.=========================

- This is a summary of when I lost my confidence. I don't remember the exact time frame, but I'm sure it was during the 3rd or 4th year. There was a meeting I had with the owner and the manager at the time about the manager transitioning to a new role and for a personnel and operations manager to be promoted and share the total responsibilities 50-50. I was to become the personnel manager while another was to be operations. My role was described, my responsibilities were set, and I agreed. It was a natural fit as I had already been training new hires and building bonds with the staff as a positive and fair senior facilitator. And I was excited for this. Looked forward to making a bigger impact in the company and getting a raise in pay. 

The next day, there was an impromptu short meeting with myself, the owner, and the new operations manager. They both explained to me that it will no longer be 50-50. More like 40 for me and 60 for the operations manager. Not only that, but some of my responsibilities were no longer mine. It was mainly in favor of leaning more on the operations end rather than favoring the staff. I should have questioned it, but I didn't. And that's probably where a slow downhill slide started. 

My duty to make things good for the staff went well for the most part. However, I was always met with things going against them from those above me. I had explained it to them before that almost all the answers I was given were "no" and I had to "fight" to make things happen while they can just do things. It's comprehensive describing it this way, but I don't want to go over every little thing. It was a rough year for me and I knew some of the staff could tell. I actually developed a slight stutter. Not many people might not have noticed because I hid it well. And there was one large incident that sparked a lot of things that I could talk about some other time. It was probably the worst part of my whole time at HER. 

I was also not given a lot of positive feedback during this time from those above me. It felt as if almost everything I was doing wasn't up to snuff or they were disappointed. A paranoid part of me thought they were setting me up to fail. However, I did get some positive feedback during my evaluation one year later. I remember even saying "that turned out better than I thought it would." But by that time, I had spoken to friends and a few of the staff about what was going on and what I was thinking and I pretty much had my mind set on stepping down from the position. 

While I felt a great sense of relief after that, this is where I believe a more sharp decline in staff morale and how things were run started. It really wasn't the same afterwards. Not to go into all the details, but a personal thing for me was I took a large hit in my pay. I knew stepping down would come with a pay cut, but I thought I'd go back to my pay rate directly before the promotion. I think it was $2-$3 less than that. They explained the reasons why. I didn't like it, but what could I do?  

It took a while for me to actually feel confident again at work. That happened some time after moving to the Memorial location. Not immediately, it took a while. I was glad that others still saw me in that personnel manager role despite not having it in my title all the way to the closing of the company. One unfortunate thing is that while I gained some of my confidence back overtime, the loss of confidence did leak out into my personal life as well. It might not be a thing many would notice, but I second guess myself constantly especially lately. It's gotten better, but it lingers to this day. 

GAMES=========================

- King of Dragons from the Capcom Beat 'Em Up Bundle was fun (06.01). I kept doing the triumphant roar the characters did when leveling up and had chat choose which character to play as with multiple polls throughout the stream. 


- Demo Showcase 65 (06.02)

- Wrecking Crew was randomly chosen for the NES game of the month (06.04). Never played it prior. It's actually a really good puzzle game. I would have kept going, but I wasn't feeling well and we spent a good 30+ minutes on one level towards the end. 

Another plus from this stream was that the community goal was reached. So in July, we'll be playing Vroom in the night sky. 


- Fantasy Strike was a fun free-to-play fighter (06.05). Met some nice people from their community that were very helpful. Some connections were bad though. The one negative I will unfortunately remember from this stream was someone soliciting myself and others to buy them the beginner's pack, which is $20. I think they wouldn't have done that had someone not gifted it to me, which I did not know until long after it happened. Whoever did that, thanks. 


- Moto Rush GT was super fun (06.07). Got it for free due to an ownership discount. It's easy to understand, but offers some good challenges. Similar to Wrecking Crew, it also had a bunch of challenges. It would have been possible, but not in one stream. The challenges gradually got tougher. We probably would not have gotten as far as we did had we not purchased the DLC that gave a few really fast motorcycles. 


- Learned about Bullet Beat thanks to a review by The Budget Gamer (06.08). Not bad. One level was tough on the eyes though. And...and we went 30+ minutes of endless mode and made it to 11th place, wow. A demo released a few days later, ha. 


- Demo Showcase 66 was an interesting one (06.09). Got to first hand try out BALAN WONDERWORLD and it's not as bad as others make it out to be. And the stream ended with one of the developers of Vectronom coming in and dropping a few codes for the game. I would have given the rest away, but only one worked. Vectronom happened to be my favorite and that is now the new quickest turnaround of having a favorite and getting the game. 


- Finally played RUINER (06.11-06.12). It was a rare impulse buy of a game I didn't know about, but liked the aesthetic. It certainly was pleasing to the eyes. It's probably the most I've cussed on stream thanks to the dialogue. Didn't realize it was a twin-stick combat game. It can hurt the hands after a while, but the combat can be very satisfying. 


- A year ago, Discord voted to play LIMBO. Felt it would be fitting to finally play INSIDE (06.14). I knew of some of the story beats from watching the Game Grumps play it many years ago. Some stuff still surprised me when they happened. Someone in chat also mentioned how there were multiple endings. Looked it up and in doing so, we 100% completed the game. If it took a long time to do, I would not have tried it. But the game makes it easy to go back to get what you missed. 


- The E3 Nintendo Direct was incredible (06.15). So many amazing announcements like Metroid Dread, Fatal Frame, Breath of the Wild 2, Kazuya in Smash...my goodness. Definitely got excited. 


- It sucks that the Metroid Dread collector's edition and amiibo are hard to secure (06.16). I missed a few online opportunities. But I thought to try and go to my local GameStop and try. As soon as I was entered they knew what I was there for and said they couldn't do it. I made a suggestion that I saw on Twitter about ordering from a store to deliver, which worked for a lot of people. They couldn't do it though. However, they decided to try looking for if either were available and the amiibo popped up. We made the order and still preordered the regular version of Dread. Glad to have secured the amiibo. Hopefully I'll get the collector's edition somewhere before it releases in October. 

- Played Save me Mr. Tako: Definitive Edition (06.17-06.20). I had played the original within my first year of streaming and one of the first long plays at the time. It was also the first time I had a developer hop into the chat. I had kept in contact with the developer of the game and he even asked if I could beta test the Definitive Edition version some time. I couldn't, but let him know I was definitely going to play it. Just had to figure out when. 

There were for sure improvements made. Tons of quality of life features and polish (and that some of my suggestions were actually put into place). Not perfect, but still fun and challenging. The developer appeared in streams again, which was nice. The one thing I did do was get all the hats, which I didn't do 3 years ago. went from 69% then to 91%. The only downside of the stream was that the last stream was split into 2 parts due to the internet dropping for a few minutes. But it was great introducing more people to Mr. Tako. 


- Got a physical copy of Neo Cab (06.20). It was from a new physical cartridge maker so I was a little hesitant, but they gave a lot of nice extras. I especially like the Feelgrid keychain.


- I may not have gotten it for 3 cents at Walmart (missed out on that), but I did get a copy of Captain Tsubasa: Rise of New Champions for half off (06.21). Currently scheduled for December. 


- Demo Showcase 67 was a good one (06.22). All the games were fun. Got a nice amount of reaction for playing Miitopia and what was going on (played the 3DS version prior). But another developer jumped into the stream. This time it was for Puddle Knights, which happened to not only be my favorite, but viewer's favorite as well. 


- Pikuniku (06.23)

- I missed the beginning of the Sonic 30th Anniversary Symphony (06.23). However, it was fun throughout. And it could not have ended any better with the last 2 songs they chose. Fantastic. 


- Streaming Stencil Art will be memorable for a few reasons (06.24). On the negative side, it was another stream that got split due to a brief power outage. That upset me because that's the second time in 3 streams that something like that happened. On the positive side, I liked that viewers were vibing with the stream and participating by choosing what patterns to use on certain stencil pieces. I enjoyed sending completed stencil art to those that claimed them and to those I thought about when creating them. 


- Lydia was the Nakana io game I knew about (06.25). Definitely was curious about how the events would play out. Short game so we went through it twice to see if the decisions we made mattered (it did not). It was nice to see some of the chat open up as events were relatable. Trigger warning, but maybe on the low end. I also paid for the DLC like I did for Soul Searching as the proceeds go to a good cause and that I got the game for free due to an ownership discount. 


-  One final time with the Cadence of Hyrule DLC characters; Cadence of Hyrule | Skull Kid - Symphony of the Mask (06.27). I was very surprised with how different Symphony of the Mask was. New story, new characters, new enemies (callbacks), new and fewer dungeons, etc. I was not ready for the puzzle dungeon, which almost was the reason I wanted to quit this earlier. The battle gauntlet dungeon was more my speed. Still tough, but eventually did that after leaving the puzzle dungeon, which we returned to. Shout outs to chat for helping. Even the final fight had a few tweaks to it that were also surprising. I was so glad to actually finish it and felt this was a proper and appropriate way to finish playing the Cadence of Hyrule. 


- Finishing out the month with Super Valis IV is another memorable stream (06.29). Not for the game itself, but for the fact that it took 3 times to get the stream going. First, the internet dropped after 9 minutes of the stream. Since it was short, I figured I would start over. 30 minutes later, lightning struck and the power clicked off and back on. At that point, I knew it was a short game and it wouldn't take long getting back to where we were despite having a save state ready. I was not in the mood to split another stream for a 3rd time in 10 days. And even though I don't believe in it, the third time was the charm. 


ETC=========================

- TWICE - Alcohol-Free (MV)
This was a nice chill song. I'm glad that the girls also are getting a break on the choreography with something on the lighter side. Great to see Jeongyeon back too. 


- AILEE - WANNABE (ITZY)

- After School Reunion (06.11)
This was amazing to watch. After School was one of my favorite groups during that generation of Kpop. I liked them a bit more than other groups because I didn't know too many fans of them so they were a little extra special to me. For a lot of groups back then and even now, I have a favorite that brings me into the group and then someone else becomes my favorite. Kahi is one of the rare few that my bias in the group never changed. I watch her YouTube videos so I know she's still taking care of herself, but I found myself mouth agape watching her perform again. I wish more After School members joined, but this was still great. 


- TWICE - Perfect World (MV)

- A Star-Studded Dinner | Recipe For Change

- One of my uncles passed away, Tito Rod (06.25). He passed away in his sleep in the Philippines. My dad received a call/message about it. He was showing photos to my mom while I was getting lunch ready. That's when they told me. I also learned that Tito Rod was actually the oldest of the brothers. I always thought he was the youngest. I hugged my parents and continued my day. 

As of typing this (06.28), I have not seen anyone in my family post anything on social media about his passing. It's...odd. The thing is, Tito Rod was actually on the crazy side. Not in a violent or horrible way, but he became very religious. Nothing wrong with that, but he did sometimes push religion onto others in not the most civil way at times. He also had weird tendencies that weren't the most common place or legal. Nothing horrible ever came from it, but he did get in trouble and would get reprimanded by his siblings. The crazy part of him came shortly after his wife passed decades ago. He never recovered from it unfortunately. The past 5-10 years, he had been living with family in the Philippines and receiving home care. 

The post I made on Twitter is of one of my old wrestling action figures I still had, Rowdy Roddy Piper. I have a very clear memory of Tito Rod babysitting us and saying "Hot Rod? That's me!" I can't think of too many memories of him taking care of me and my generation, but I know he did. That moment though was the best moment that popped into my head after hearing of his passing. 

Rest In Peace, Tito Rod. 


- That's a wrap on June 2021. Thanks for reading. Thank you for your support. Be cool and be kind.


"Reprise the theme song and roll the credits."
 
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